How to Stop Taking Things Personally and Chill Out

Written By

Helen Kaminski, MSc

Fact Checked

A person surrounded by swirling thoughts and emotions, but then visualizing them as clouds drifting away, leaving a sense of calm and detachment

Note: This post is supported by our readers and contains affiliate links, which will earn us a small commission at no extra cost to you. Therapy Helpers does not accept money for reviews.

Some of us tend to take things quite personally. Whether it’s a comment from a co-worker or an offhand remark from a friend, these little moments can feel like personal attacks.

The key to overcoming this sensitivity lies in recognizing our emotional triggers and shifting our perspective.

When we stop taking things personally, we gain better control over our emotions and improve our relationships.

This doesn’t happen overnight, but with practice and patience, we can learn to view situations more objectively.

This shift not only helps our mental well-being but also enhances our communication skills.

Learning to separate facts from our emotional responses is essential. It allows us to build stronger self-awareness and develop healthier interactions with others.

By focusing on these strategies, we can create a more balanced and less reactive approach to life.

Highlights

  • We can gain better emotional control by understanding our triggers.
  • Changing our perspective can enhance our relationships.
  • Building self-awareness helps in achieving healthier interactions.


Ad, keeps our community free. The perspectives presented on this website are genuinely our own and we do not accept money for reviews.

betterhelp logo
review

4.5 (7,802+) FROM TRUSTPILOT

Fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with an experienced therapist online in as little as 24 hours.

✓ Over 35K licensed professionals

✓ Financial aid available

✓ Subscriptions as low as $65/week, billed every four weeks

✓ Cancel plan or change therapist anytime

20% off your first month through Therapy Helpers

Understanding Personal Sensitivity

YouTube video

When we talk about personal sensitivity, we often deal with self-esteem and how it impacts our reactions.

Understanding why we take things personally can help us manage our reactions better.

Let’s dive into some of the root causes and the role of self-worth in our sensitivity.

Root Causes of Taking Things Personally

Taking things personally can stem from past experiences, personality traits, or learned behaviors.

When we’re sensitive, we might interpret neutral comments as personal attacks. This often happens because of emotional triggers that relate to past hurt or neglect.

Internal factors, like our ego and outlook, can also shape our reactions.

If we’ve had moments where our efforts were devalued, we’re more likely to react defensively. Low self-esteem can make us amplify these reactions, as we’re often worried about how others view us.

By recognizing these root causes, we can better understand our sensitivity and begin to address it.

Role of Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Self-esteem plays a big part in how sensitive we are to feedback.

When we have low self-esteem, we may question our worth. This can make us more sensitive to the comments and actions of others.

We could misinterpret constructive feedback as criticism.

Our sense of self-worth is tightly interconnected with our ability to brush off negative remarks.

If we believe in our abilities and value, external opinions hold less sway over us.

By strengthening our self-esteem, we can reduce our sensitivity and react more calmly to criticism.

Building self-worth involves focusing on our strengths and valuing ourselves, regardless of external validation.

Ad, keeps our community free. The perspectives presented on this website are genuinely our own and we do not accept money for reviews.

betterhelp logo
review

4.5 (7,802+) FROM TRUSTPILOT

Fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with an experienced therapist online in as little as 24 hours.

✓ Over 35K licensed professionals

✓ Financial aid available

✓ Subscriptions as low as $65/week, billed every four weeks

✓ Cancel plan or change therapist anytime

20% off your first month through Therapy Helpers

Interpersonal Dynamics and Communication

YouTube video

In relationships, handling criticism and establishing boundaries are key to maintaining healthy interactions.

Navigating Criticism in Relationships

Criticism can often feel like a personal attack, especially if it comes from someone close to us.

It’s important to remember that not all criticism is meant to be hurtful. Sometimes, it’s an opportunity for growth and improvement.

We can start by listening carefully and avoiding defensive reactions.

When faced with criticism, let’s ask for clarification if we don’t fully understand the person’s intent. This can help clear up misunderstandings.

Responding with empathy lets us see things from their perspective.

It’s helpful to express our own feelings as well, so the other person knows how their words impact us.

Communication is a two-way street. By being willing to listen and share our own thoughts, we encourage openness and strengthen our relationships.

It’s all about balancing honesty with kindness, which can lead to healthier connections.

Establishing Boundaries for Healthier Interactions

Boundaries are essential to maintaining our own well-being and ensuring respectful interactions.

They help us define what is acceptable in our relationships.

Clear communication about our boundaries can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.

It’s important to be clear and direct when setting boundaries. We should discuss them during calm times, not in the heat of the moment.

Using “I” statements to explain how certain actions make us feel can be effective. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when plans change at the last minute.

Respecting others’ boundaries is just as crucial. By honoring the limits they set, we foster a mutual respect.

Open conversations about boundaries help build trust, making our relationships more fulfilling and harmonious.

Personal Development and Self-Management

YouTube video

When we focus on personal growth, we learn to handle our emotions better and see situations clearly.

By building emotional resilience and cultivating mindfulness, we can manage our reactions more effectively.

Building Emotional Resilience

Building emotional resilience helps us navigate life’s ups and downs.

We can start by recognizing our triggers and understanding why certain situations upset us. By doing this, we take the first step in managing our emotions.

Healthy habits like regular exercise, talking to supportive friends, and practicing gratitude can make a big difference.

They help us handle stress and stop us from overthinking.

Emotional resilience is like a muscle. The more we work on it, the stronger it gets, making us better equipped to face challenges.

Cultivating Mindfulness and Clarity

Mindfulness is our ability to stay present and fully engage with what we are doing.

It helps us break free from the cycle of overthinking.

By practicing mindfulness, we can become more aware of our thoughts and feelings.

Taking a few minutes each day to meditate or focus on our breath can improve clarity.

When we cultivate mindfulness, we gain a clearer perspective on what really matters.

This helps us avoid taking things personally and guides us toward more balanced reactions.

Mindful practices allow us to see situations with more understanding and less emotional clutter.

Practical Strategies to Stop Taking Things Personally

A person standing confidently as negative words bounce off a protective shield around them, while positive affirmations are absorbed into their being

Having strategies helps us manage our reactions better.

By addressing perfectionism and working on self-confidence, we can learn to handle situations with a more balanced perspective. Let’s dive into two effective approaches.

Challenging Perfectionism and Assumptions

Perfectionism often makes us take things to heart. We expect everything to be flawless, including ourselves.

When things go wrong, it’s easy to assume that it’s a personal failure. Instead, let’s challenge these thoughts.

We should identify and question our assumptions. Are they really true? Keeping a journal where we jot down these thoughts can help us see patterns.

Using questions like, “What’s the evidence?” or “Could there be another reason?” encourages us to think differently.

It’s also useful to remind ourselves that mistakes are part of learning. No one is perfect, and that’s okay.

By easing up on perfectionism, we’re less likely to misinterpret others’ actions or words as personal attacks.

Enhancing Self-Confidence with Positive Affirmations

Self-confidence is our shield against taking things personally. When we’re confident, we’re less affected by others’ opinions or actions.

We should use positive affirmations to build this sense of self-worth.

Let’s start by writing a list of our strengths and achievements. Saying affirmations aloud each day, like “I am capable” or “I am worthy,” boosts our confidence.

We can also look in the mirror and speak these affirmations to reinforce them.

Surrounding ourselves with supportive friends can further strengthen our confidence.

Sharing our experiences and receiving encouragement makes us feel valued. When we know our worth, we’re less likely to let others’ comments affect us too deeply.

Frequently Asked Questions

A person standing on a mountain peak, letting go of balloons representing personal insecurities. The balloons float away into the sky

In our journey to stop taking things personally, we can explore ways to become less sensitive in relationships, manage reactions at work, and handle negative comments gracefully.

Let’s dive into this topic with practical strategies and insights.

What are some ways to become less sensitive in personal relationships?

We can practice empathy and try to see things from others’ perspectives.

It’s helpful to remind ourselves that others’ actions often reflect their own experiences. Taking a step back to assess the situation can also help us respond thoughtfully rather than emotionally.

Can you give tips on staying calm and not overreacting at work?

To stay calm at work, we can focus on deep breathing and mindfulness during stressful moments.

It helps to remember that not every comment or action is personal.

Setting clear boundaries and taking breaks to clear our mind can prevent overreactions.

Why do I often take things to heart and how can I change that?

We might take things to heart because of past experiences or beliefs about ourselves.

To change this, challenging negative beliefs and replacing them with positive affirmations can be useful.

Being aware of our triggers can also help us react more rationally.

How do you ignore negative comments and not let them affect you?

Ignoring negative comments involves focusing on constructive feedback and people who uplift us.

We can ask ourselves if the comment is true or helpful before reacting.

Practicing techniques like visualization, where we imagine brushing off negativity, can also be effective.

What strategies can help someone to not sweat the small stuff?

To not sweat the small stuff, we can prioritize what’s truly important to us and let minor issues go.

Developing a habit of gratitude shifts our focus to positives.

Also, embracing imperfections and finding humor in little hiccups can make a big difference.

How does anxiety contribute to someone taking things personally and how can they cope?

Anxiety can make us more sensitive to criticism and misunderstandings.

To cope, practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or exercise can help reduce anxiety. Seeking support from a mental health professional is also a solid step for managing stress and improving responses.

Looking for more mental health tips? Make sure to follow our Mental Health Board on Pinterest!

Recommended Insights:

A computer screen with data being collected and sold by a company

Does Talkspace Sell Your Data: Privacy Insights and Policies

Curious if your personal information stays safe on Talkspace? Dive into the facts about its data privacy practices and what they mean for you.
A doctor's office with a desk, computer, and shelves of medical supplies

Can BetterHelp Prescribe Medication? Exploring Online Therapy Limitations

This article examines whether BetterHelp can prescribe medication, detailing the platform's mental health care approach and the prescription limitations therapists face. Learn about the options available for users seeking medication as part of their treatment in the full article
A serene virtual landscape with a computer or smartphone displaying an online therapy session, surrounded by calming elements like nature or soothing colors

Online Therapy Malaysia: A Growing Trend for Mental Health Support

Discover how online therapy in Malaysia is becoming a vital tool for accessible mental health support.

About the author

Helen Kaminski, MSc

Helen Kaminski, MSc

Mindful living for a happier, healthier you. I’m a medical writer, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and a mental health advocate in Warsaw, Poland, with nine years working as a therapist. I hold a Master's in Clinical Psychology degree from the University of Warsaw. I specialize in writing about mental health, using my experiences and academic background to educate and inspire others. In my free time, I volunteer at a Disability Learning Center and go for nature walks. My writing aims to break down mental health stigma and help others feel understood. Social connections are vital to mental well-being, and I am dedicated to fostering communities of support and empathy. By sharing knowledge and personal insights, I strive to create a more compassionate world. Social

Leave a Comment