9 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Teenager Struggling Mentally

Written By

Erica Barnes

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A teenager sits alone, head bowed, surrounded by cluttered thoughts. A dark cloud looms overhead while a tangle of conflicting emotions swirls around them

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When teenagers struggle mentally, it can be hard to know what to say. Sometimes, well-meaning comments can do more harm than good.

It’s crucial to avoid saying things that can make a teen feel judged or misunderstood.

Remember, words can either help them feel supported or push them further into isolation.

Teens dealing with depression, anxiety, or stress need our compassion and understanding.

Telling them to “just snap out of it” or “others have it worse” can invalidate their feelings and worsen their mental health.

Instead, open-ended questions and active listening can make them feel heard and valued.

Providing the right support can make a big difference in a teenager’s mental health journey.

Everyone should know the importance of communication strategies and providing the right resources and support systems.

Being informed can guide you in making a positive impact.



Key Takeaways

  • Avoid statements that invalidate a teenager’s feelings.
  • Listening and open-ended questions help them feel supported.
  • Know the value of providing proper resources and strategies.

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Understanding the Teenage Mind

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Teenagers can face many mental health challenges, leading to noticeable changes in behavior.

Using empathy and active listening can help foster better conversations and support.

Impact of Mental Health Issues

Mental health problems like anxiety and depression are increasingly common among teenagers.

These issues can manifest as stress, self-harm, and changes in behavior.

It’s important to recognize symptoms like withdrawal from activities, low self-esteem, or sudden mood swings.

When teens struggle mentally, their school performance and social interactions often suffer.

They may become irritable, have trouble sleeping, or show signs of body image issues.

Being aware of these signs helps in identifying if a teen needs professional help.

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Fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with an experienced teen therapist online within 48 hours.

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Role of Empathy and Listening

Empathy is crucial when talking to a struggling teenager.

Instead of giving advice right away, listen to what they are saying.

Show that you understand their feelings by reflecting their emotions back to them.

Active listening involves paying full attention, not interrupting, and validating their experiences.

Phrases like, “I see you’re really stressed,” build a connection.

Avoid saying things that minimize their feelings or problems.

By focusing on empathy and good listening skills, you can create a supportive environment.

This helps teens feel understood and less alone in their struggles.

Recognizing Warning Signs and Symptoms

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Recognizing warning signs in teenagers can help in taking timely action to support their mental health.

Key indicators include changes in behavior, mood, and physical symptoms that signify depression, anxiety, or self-harm tendencies.

Identifying Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety often manifest in noticeable changes in a teenager’s mood and behavior.

Look out for prolonged feelings of sadness or irritability, such as feeling angry for weeks.

They may also start avoiding friends and social gatherings, and show a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed.

Physical symptoms are also common. For instance, teenagers might experience disturbed sleep patterns—sleeping too much or too little.

They could also show changes in appetite, leading to weight loss or gain.

Such changes can be signs of both depression and anxiety.

Beyond these, teens could express feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness.

It’s crucial to observe whether they talk about feeling trapped or having no purpose.

If these symptoms are present, it’s important to encourage them to seek therapy or counseling.

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Fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with an experienced teen therapist online within 48 hours.

✓ Over 14,000 licensed therapists

✓ Financial aid available

✓ Cancel plan or change therapist anytime

✓ Subscription plans starting from $65/week, billed every four weeks

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Responding to Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts

Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are serious warning signs that require immediate attention.

Physical indicators could include unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns, often hidden under clothing.

Emotional signs include talking about feeling like a burden or expressing a desire to die.

Teens may also exhibit sudden calmness after a long period of depression or anxiety.

This could indicate they have made a decision to commit suicide.

Sudden changes in mood, eating, or sleeping habits can also signal self-harm tendencies.

It is critical to ask directly if they are thinking about suicide.

Contrary to myths, this won’t plant the idea but gives them a chance to open up.

Immediate intervention and connecting them to suicide prevention resources can save lives.

Therapy and counseling are essential steps to help them recover and find healthier coping mechanisms.

Communication Strategies

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When communicating with a teenager struggling mentally, starting the conversation effectively and avoiding counterproductive phrases are crucial.

Using empathy and support can make a significant difference in how they respond.

Effective Conversation Starters

Starting a conversation with a teenager who is mentally struggling can be challenging.

It’s important to pick the right moment when they seem calm.

Use open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling lately?”

Express empathy to show that you care.

Instead of saying “I understand,” try “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but I’m here to support you.”

Keeping a relaxed tone can help lower their resistance.

Suggest doing an activity together, like going for a walk, to naturally build rapport.

This non-confrontational approach can create a comfortable space for them to open up.

Reassure them that they can talk to a pediatrician or doctor if they’re not comfortable talking to you.

This displays your willingness to support their mental health without directly intervening, reducing their feeling of pressure.

Ad, keeps our community free. The perspectives presented on this website are genuinely our own and we do not accept money for reviews.

Logo Teencounseling
talkspace review

Fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with an experienced teen therapist online within 48 hours.

✓ Over 14,000 licensed therapists

✓ Financial aid available

✓ Cancel plan or change therapist anytime

✓ Subscription plans starting from $65/week, billed every four weeks

20% off through Therapy Helpers

Avoiding Counterproductive Phrases

Avoid phrases that might shut down communication or increase their feelings of isolation.

For example, don’t say, “You’re overreacting,” as this invalidates their feelings.

Instead, acknowledge their emotions by saying, “It sounds like you’re really upset about this.”

Avoid using guilt-inducing comments like, “Think about how your actions affect others.”

This can increase their feelings of isolation and anger, rather than encouraging them to share their struggles.

Phrases like, “Just tough it out,” can minimize their experience and discourage them from seeking therapy or other professional support.

A more supportive phrase would be, “It’s okay to ask for help when you need it.”

Talking about serious concerns, like suicide, should be handled with care.

Don’t say, “You’re not thinking about doing something stupid, right?” This can make them feel judged.

Instead, gently ask, “Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself?” This shows empathy and opens the door for honest communication.

Be mindful of your responses and show continuous support to create a safe environment for them.

Support Systems and Resources

A teenager sits alone, hunched over with a pained expression. In the background, a list of "9 Things You Should NEVER Say" is posted on a wall

Building a solid support system is important for teenagers struggling with mental health.

This can include relying on family, friends, and professional resources when needed.

Leveraging Family, Friends, and Professionals

Having a supportive family can make a big difference.

Parents and siblings can provide a listening ear and a safe space for teens to express their feelings.

Friends also play a crucial role. A trusted friend can offer empathy and distraction from stress.

Professionals can offer additional layers of support.

School counselors, for instance, can help teens manage academic pressures while providing emotional support.

Online forums and support groups can also be useful in connecting with others facing similar challenges.

Leveraging these resources can help teenagers feel less isolated.

When to Seek Medical or Therapeutic Help

Sometimes, professional intervention becomes essential.

If a teenager shows signs of severe depression or anxiety, it’s vital to consult a pediatrician or therapist.

They can recommend treatments like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or medication to manage symptoms.

During crises, such as suicidal thoughts, contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is crucial.

Understanding when to seek help can prevent more serious complications.

Therapists can guide teenagers through difficult periods, using tailored treatments.

Early intervention can make a meaningful impact on their recovery journey.

Recognizing when medical or therapeutic help is needed ensures teenagers receive the right care at the right time.

Frequently Asked Questions

A teenager sitting alone, looking distressed, surrounded by crumpled papers and torn magazines with headlines about mental health

Supporting a teenager dealing with mental health issues involves understanding their needs, recognizing the impact of social media, and knowing the right things to say.

How can you support a teenager dealing with anxiety?

Supporting a teenager with anxiety means being there to listen without judgment.

Encourage them to talk about their feelings. Offer reassurance but avoid dismissing their worries.

Help them find relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or mindfulness, to manage their anxiety.

What’s the impact of social media on a teen’s mental well-being?

Social media can both connect and alienate.

It might boost self-esteem when they get likes, but it can also lead to comparison and a sense of inadequacy.

Teens exposed to cyberbullying or unrealistic body images face increased risks of depression and anxiety.

Are there ways to prevent mental health issues in young people?

Preventing mental health issues starts with creating a supportive environment.

Encourage open conversations about feelings and stresses. Teach coping skills and help them build a strong social network.

Regular physical activity and a healthy diet are also key factors.

What are common mental health challenges faced by kids and teenagers?

Common challenges include anxiety, depression, ADHD, and eating disorders.

They might also face stress from school or peer pressure. Some even deal with self-harm or suicidal thoughts.

Recognizing early signs can help in addressing these issues promptly.

What’s the best approach to treat mental disorders in adolescents?

Treatment usually includes therapy and, in some cases, medication.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is effective for many issues. Family therapy can also be helpful.

It’s important to work with healthcare professionals who specialize in treating adolescents.

What are some things you definitely shouldn’t say to teens with mental health struggles?

Avoid saying things like “It’s all in your head” or “Just snap out of it.”

These dismiss their feelings. Don’t blame them for their struggles or compare them to others.

Instead, offer support and understanding, and encourage them to seek professional help if needed.

Looking for more mental health tips? Make sure to follow our Mental Health Board on Pinterest!

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About the author

Erica Barnes

Erica Barnes

I’m an African American woman living in New York, with a Bachelor's degree in Communication. I’m passionate about researching mental health topics, spirituality, and breaking down stigma in my community. I’ve dedicated my life to shedding light on important issues surrounding mental health and working towards creating a more understanding and compassionate society. As a researcher at Therapy Helpers, I’m here to use my skills to educate and inspire others through insightful articles. Thank you for being here!Social

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